Movember: To Kill The Stache?

As Movember comes to a close, many men are faced with a difficult question: “To shave or not to shave?” That is the question. I know that, personally, growing a moustache throughout the month of November is one of the most enjoyable experiences of my entire year. Being able to walk around an office with facial hair full of pride is something every man strives to accomplish, whether he knows it or not. Movember is the month where any man can say their favorite Ron Burgundy or Ron Swanson quotes without looking like a (complete) d-bag.

Now, as December creeps around the corner, we’re faced with the finale of what was, for most, a month of adorning our “what-we-would-look-like-in-the-seventies” moustache. The last phase of Movember is definitely the most difficult to follow through on, though.  How do we say goodbye to our fuzzy new friend? How are we supposed to go back to our baby-faced selves? Waking up and looking at ourselves in the mirror before work will lose its magic. Will our significant others or coworkers think less of us? What about the children!?

Alas, we must keep in mind the entire reason we decided to grow our stache to begin with, that is, to raise awareness for prostate and testicular cancer, as well as challenges in mental health. Movember is much, much more than just growing a little facial fur to prove our masculinity. No, it is a chance for us to spread the word about men’s health and show the world that together, we can make a difference.

Movember is a chance for men to get asked, “Hey, since when did you rock a bitch’n moustache?” To which we reply, “It’s for Movember – the month we as men raise awareness for  different areas of men’s health in hopes that someone like you would decide to donate money to an appropriate cause or charity!” The inquisitor might then respond with, “Ah! What a benevolent gesture! I’ll be sure to make a donation of some sort later today.” This is obviously the exact conversation that happened to any and every man participating in Movember, ever. Obviously.

Movember may be a silly, month-long endurance test for our facial hair, but it serves for a serious issue. We have but one month* to help our fellow gender in a big way, and part of that fulfillment is to finish the deed. We may have our laughs throughout the month (especially if you have that one friend that only can sprout a creepy, thin pedophile mustache), but in the end this is for a real cause with real results that will affect our manhood not only in the here and now, but also for generations to come.

 Thus, we must uphold our manly duties and dismantle our ‘stache to follow through on the act in which we began…  So, gentlemen, do what you know is right and get rid of that soup strainer at the end of this month. Fear not, Decembeard is upon you!

*There are many more celebrated facial fur months also involved with raising money for charity, none as popular as Movember…yet!

Samuel Lowy is a writer, comedian, and musician. He enjoys a strong cup of coffee and a good camping trip. To see more of Sam’s writing, check out CrookedManners.com