(read part 1 here) (read part 2 here)
First off, what the hell was I thinking using chemical dyes anyway? This goes against my entire character/lifestyle. How did this twisted obsession even begin? Why is it God seems to want to do a whirling dervish on two left feet when you just want to Cha Cha? I began to research healthy, all natural, organic alternatives.
Dye Like A Man
I know what you are thinking; this guy has completely gone off the deep end (whatever that means), and is now giving himself fake tattoos as a form of new age therapy in order to work through his blah, blah, OM, blah. Not the case at all…well not completely.
While it is the same stuff that you see fading on the forearms and hands of the mystical elite while shopping at Whole Foods, I was using it in a totally different way. That way, is in my cookie duster.
I was desperate, okay? The first brand I tried was, “Manly Guy Natural Beard and Hair Color”, a green powder that came in a resealable foil package. Somehow, when mixed with hot water, this funky gunk was going to transform my beard back into its former glory. I admit I had my doubts, but I am a natural dabbler, so I dabbled. My “rash” was still healing and feeling tender, so the hot mud actually felt rather soothing. The problem is that it’s very messy, like eating falafel while driving. The whole process was unrealistic knowing I would have to perform it on a weekly basis. What Just For Men did in three minutes, Manly Guy did in 3 hours. I did stick with it until I was out, but there had to be another way.
And there was…behold:
Dye Like A Man
The next product I discovered was at my local co-op, “Surya Brasil”. It is Henna but in a liquid base, finally! Much in the same spirit that I tossed out the petrochemical infused Mustache Wax but saved the brush that came with it, I found myself pulling out the mixing tray and applicator brush that came with my first box of Just For Men, it’s the Yankee in me.
I squirted some henna into the tray, dipped the brush in, and began applying it to my whitened whiskers. It felt very similar in consistency to JFM and coated the hair completely. Being an all-natural chemical free dye you do need to leave it in longer, about 45 minutes to an hour. Not a problem, I turned on some Battlestar Gallactica, and after 3 episodes came and went I felt it was time to rinse.
If you are one who competes in mustache or beard battles this might be the ticket for you, for it dyes as well as conditions, unlike chemical dye which tend to dye and dry. The only downside is that it only seems to last about 5 days to a full week if you prep your facial hair with cider vinegar first and leave it on all night. Again, perfect for that one night of competition, but for a regular cad about town such as myself, it’s no JFM. But then I stumbled upon Henna Tinted Moustache Wax!
Dye Like A Man
For Simple stache wearing gents with a few grey hairs to hide, you may want to consider using a henna tinted wax. This is great to use while on the road. The wax is tinted the color of your choice and being henna based, the longer it stays in your soup sifter the more the color has time to set…BONUS!
All in all it seems I finally found a healthier solution at maintaining that youthful, furry look. Granted there was a heavy price to pay, both physical and psychological as you have seen (seen=read)…but I believe myself to be a better, humbler, and sexier man for it. But I digress, let me now wrap up my tale of woe and wonder.
The very next day I was walking around downtown, and as I passed the tanning salon who should walk out…Susan, browner than my bristles. I gave her a wink.
“Touché.”
Written By Douglas Smythe
Contact Douglas : whiskers@howtogrowamoustache.com
About Douglas Smythe
I hardly leave a response, however i did some searching and wound
up here Coloring Your Beard Or Moustache : Dye Like A Man – Part 3 |
How to Grow a Moustache. And I actually do have some questions
for you if it’s allright. Could it be only me or does it appear like a few of these comments look like they are left by brain dead visitors? 😛 And, if you are posting at additional places, I’d like
to follow anything fresh you have to post.
Would you make a list of every one of your communal sites like your Facebook page, twitter feed, or linkedin profile?
LOL! We appreciate any comments, from the brain dead to the brain fed! Our linkedin,facebook and twitter links are at the top of the page! Our writers guest post all over the web. Most recently on Swagger Magazine and Complex- Thanks for making contact and sign up for our newsletter (free pdf) to receive discounts from our sponsors, updates,tips and tricks! We hope you read part 1-3 of that article…Douglas went through a lot of grief to write it…ha ha ha. Thanks for interacting! Cheers & Happy Moustache March!
Loved the conclusion Douglas! Thanks for sharing!!! I had a bad experience with beard dye too and i just stopped using it. I never considered henna, now i am going to give it a shot! Thanks for the humorous advice!
HA HA HA- Glad this is finally over! the weekly anticipation was killing me! (will i be considered a brain dead commentor?)
Thanks for a fun and useful article HTGAM! No one talks about this. Henna, never even thought of that. I will get back to you kind folks with my results!
Glad you brought up Tinted Dandy Candy! I use this stuff daily, the black. Not only is it the best mustache wax out there it’s also a really convincing tint/dye. You are right, the more you use it the more it sinks into the follicle dying it. Thanks guys!
Love it! Sooo much fun to read this and i definitely walked away with something! Thanks for the free PDF too! I will put your APP on my phone when i am done writing this. I am very curious about it! Thanks for being the only decent man fur site out there!
-braindead
“Why is it God seems to want to do a whirling dervish on two left feet when you just want to Cha Cha?” This needs to go on a T-shirt! Thanks HTGAM!
Great story, and I will stay away from Just for Men… I used it once before, but only briefly, so I never experienced that burn you spoke of. Fortunately, I don’t have to worry about grays just yet, but who knows when I might decide to go dark instead of my natural blonde?
Thanks Paul! If I can reach just one person I am doing my job!
cheers!
D
How to dye just 2-3 hairs of beard ?
well, that could easily be taken care of with a few snips. But if it is necessary that you keep those aging whiskers you may want to try henna tinted Dandy Candy. Hope that helped!
Cheers!
Seriously entertaining article! XD Thanks for the tips, I can’t wait to start brushing in the Dandy Candy.
So, I’m growing my beard and mustache and I tried the Surya Henna Cream and I’m sorry to say because I’m growing my beard I have stubs and it’s not covering my stubs very well, and I can’t leave it on for 45 minutes because it will stain your skin. I left it on for 20 minutes and it sort of stained my skin in between the stubs and after rising it out I can still see gray. So what would you suggest on how to use this Henna cream to cover your stubs and not stain your skin?
you will need to grow out your beard first.