Top Seven Worst Moustaches on the Big Screen

Top Seven Worst Moustaches on the Big Screen

There are many movies where the moustache makes the character or, in the case of some comedies, are characters themselves. However, there are some nose neighbors that should just be left out of the movie entirely. Let’s look at the top seven worst moustaches from movies in the past 20 years.

Top Seven Worst Moustaches on the Big Screen

[pullquote] If you can’t grow it naturally, don’t let them glue it to your face.[/pullquote]
7.) Colin Farrell as James Crockett in Miami Vice (2006)

“I don’t believe you for a New York minute.” Sonny Crockett was a slickster not a motorhead. The lip hair Farrell sported was wholly unbelievable for an undercover cop who drives a Ferrari and busts bad guys. Combine that with his confusing accents throughout the movie and I’m more inclined to think he’s an undercover detective from Texas, not Miami.

6.) Matt Damon as Labeouf in True Grit (2010)

Top Seven Worst Moustaches on the Big Screen

Oh, Matt. You certainly showed true grit in your determination to let them paste that thing to your face. Between the unruly moustache and the 90-degree sideburns, you looked more like Sabertooth from the X-Men movies than a guy trying to show his tenacity. My advice: If you can’t grow it naturally, don’t let them glue it to your face.

5.) Nick Nolte as Captain Michael Brennan in Q&A (1990)

Top Seven Worst Moustaches on the Big Screen

Even my moustache loves this moustache! -Douglas Smythe

Top Seven Worst Moustaches on the Big Screen

Q: Who was the brainchild who thought Nolte’s moustache looked good in this film? Answer: Joe Cranzano and Bob Grimaldi. It is a small wonder that both relatively dropped off the face of the Earth after this movie. Nolte looked like he was auditioning for Wyatt Earp, not playing a modern-day detective. Even Nolte in his trademark disarray in public keeps his facial hair trimmed, neat and looking good!

4.) and 3.) Wyatt Earp – Both Kurt Russell in Tombstone (1993) and Kevin Costner in Wyatt Earp (1994)

Earp! Why? I know that was a popular style of moustache back in the Wild West, but there were other options. Both Russell and Costner have the mild-mannered attitude to portray Earp, but they are way too Hollywood good-looking to be saddled with such a disproportionate piece of facial hair gone wild. Maybe they should have cast Nick Nolte in both roles. [Editor’s Note: I Douglas Smythe wholeheartedly Disagree w/ Brandon’s opinion on Kurt’s bad ass cookie duster…and find it quite inspiring, if not rather dashing!]

Top Seven Worst Moustaches on the Big Screen

2.) Gary Oldman as Jim Gordon in Batman Begins (2005)

Holy moustache, Batman! Oldman is a stellar dramatic actor, and I think he made a terrific Commissioner Gordon. However, I had a hard time listening to the dialogue while watching him talk with that overdeveloped hairpiece on his lip. It’s a shame, really, since it was a neat and trimmed version of the moustache he rocked as Sirius Black in the Harry Potter franchise.

1.) Kevin James as Paul Blart in Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)

Top Seven Worst Moustaches on the Big Screen

Where did Hollywood get the idea that cops and security guards should have a walrus moustache? Right up there with the bushy stache Gary Oldman sported in Batman Begins, Kevin James’ baby face looked foolish with the full walrus moustache the make-up artists put on him. It didn’t even help the jokes. It rated in the number one spot, because it was just sad.

Moustaches can add to the character in every film. However, when the moustache simply looks wrong on the actor, it can detract from their overall performance. I personally find it difficult to take a character seriously if their lip-squirrel steals the spotlight.

Who do you think sported a stache in film history that deserves to be on our list? Leave your own infamous moustache fails below in the comments.

-Guest contribution from Brandon Serna with Complex