The American Mustache Institute Exclusive Interview From How To Grow A Moustache

To kick off our Moustache March month long series of featured interviews and articles in style, we decided to first check in with our favorite Doctor of Nuclear Mustachology, Dr. Aaron Perlut of The American Mustache Institute. Dr. Perlut and his team have been working hard for the past 48 years to be a voice for the voiceless whiskers of the down trodden, spit upon, hardworking, mustached citizens of the United States. Where once there seemed to be little hope there is now, thanks to AMI…well, a little more. So without any more of a further, pointless, meandering introduction let our interview begin.

1) For our readers out there, that this sadly may be their First exposure to the AMI, could you give us a little background on your organization?

[pullquote]Mustaches cannot burn. Only look really, really, really good and enable an owner/operator to experience an orgasm for up to 27 minutes.[/pullquote]

 Founded in 1965, the American Mustache Institute is broadly considered the bravest organization in the history of mankind behind only the U.S. military and the post-Jim Henson Muppets, and is the center of the free facial hair movement worldwide

2) Who is the real Dr. Aaron Perlut?  

I think more than anything, I’m a freedom fighter, standing up to the discrimination which has plagued people of Mustached American descent since William Howard Taft left the presidency.

3) Do you find that due to the many years of your organization’s selfless work that things are looking up for the mustachioed citizens of our planet and others? (I’d like to take this moment to thank you personally for making this world a better, safer place for all mustached folks like myself.  Now that we have finally been issued library cards, all I want to do is hangout at the library. It has proven very therapeutic; a great place to think, really quiet, and lots of books. Who knew?)

People of Mustached American heritage have come a long way since the 1980s, when our community was shunned at every turn. We continue to grow, progress, and enhance good looks by, on average, 38 percent. I always like to remind Americans by telling them “you’re welcome.”

4) Could you please go into a little detail on the “Stache Act” for those who may not be familiar with it, and how it may affect those of us blessed with crumb catchers?

Based on a groundbreaking white paper from Dr. John Yeutter of Northeastern State University, the STACHE Act calls for a $250 annual tax deduction for people of facial hair based on the premise that we are improving American good looks by investing in American grooming products.

5) Are you in fact still looking for the right candidate to get behind for the next election? If so, may I volunteer? Though let it be known right now before all the inevitable muck raking that is sure to ensue… I, like most of my generation, did my share of experimenting in college and did for a short time sport a Van Dyke, I am not proud of this. Then there was that theater party I heard I had a really good time at, but all I had to show for it was a week-long stutter and a prison style tattoo of my girlfriend at the times name, “NORA” misspelled on my neck, which looked utterly ridiculous without the “O”. The tattoo has long since been covered over with a portrait of Tom Selleck during his Magnum PI days, so no worries. I guess what I am saying is I think I have what it takes…and I look rather dashingly presidential in a turtle neck. Do I have a shot?

We believe in the mustache lying atop Hillary Clinton’s northern lip which would give us our first Mustached American president since Taft.

So I will take that as a no then. The timing wasn’t really right for me now anyways.              

photo of Dr. Perlut with mustache legend John Oates.

6) What’s the word on “Stache Bash 2013”, or has one even been planned after the much anticipated end of the world Mayan Y2k blowout turned out to be a bust? [ I ask, was it wise for so many of us to blindly put our faith and trust in an un-mustached civilization that existed side by side with the dinosaurs over 3 billion years ago?]

Stache Bash 2013 will be held the last Saturday of October in Portland, Maine, led by our New England chapter.

7)  What does 2013 hold in store for the AMI?

2013 will be a good year.  We are looking forward to Portland in October. In July we will announce a major shift in our policies and leadership direction. But that’s all I can divulge at this moment.

8)  Lastly, as a doctor of Nuclear Mustachology, might you be able to tell our readers and I how long a well waxed moustache will burn for?

Mustaches cannot burn. Only look really, really, really good and enable an owner/operator to experience an orgasm for up to 27 minutes.

Well, Thank you Dr. Perlut so much for the opportunity to really ask the tough questions and hear for ourselves from the man himself , in the flesh (via email), what in fact you and The American Mustache Institute are really all about. It has been a pleasure and a truly meaningful experience. Godspeed from all of us fans and supporters of your cause here at How To Grow A Moustache. Happy Moustache March Everyone! 

Find out more about The American Mustache Institute Here: http://www.americanmustacheinstitute.org/

Check out our latest (8/13)  Interview with New CEO of AMI/2013 Winner of the Robert Goulet Memorial Award, Mr. Adam Paul Causgrove 

By Douglas Smythe & Extra Special Thanks to Dr. Perlut & his team at AMI!

Contact: Whiskers@howtogrowamoustache.com